Tick Tock Tick Tock

Time is passing by very quickly. And people just keep mentioning it to me. Everywhere I go…when are you leaving? How long are you gone for? Where are you going? Are you packed yet?
My answers to all those questions are minimal at most. I have had years of practicing the art of procrastination and this latest venture is no different. I continue to find excuses not to pack, pushing back the time at which I’ll have to say goodbye to all my friends and family. “No packing, tomorrow is Christmas ...then it’s boxing day…and new years… And I’m pretty sure Kwanzaa is in there.” Either way, it’s coming at full speed and on some level I have to begin to prepare.
In my last moments of in between time I plan on playing with all the people I will miss the most and continually reminding myself of why I am doing this in the first place. Oh! and I will be almost constantly watching West Wing and Grey’s Anatomy.
My anxiety surrounding my big move is slowly creeping up on me. About a month ago I started not sleeping, now I have graduated to brief moments of emotion amidst conversation and waves of nausea every time I hear the word airport (which actually happens more than you think it would). But, seriously, I have never been more sure of any decision I have made in my life and I am ready to go. The reality of my life in the upcoming months will be heartbreaking, challenging, and full of surprises but I am excited to cross those bridges; I may even cross them doing a celebratory jig.

What is this Blog for anyway...

I have always been a little restless. St Augustine says "My heart is restless, until it rests in You." I have spent the past few years searching for the meaning to this phrase only to be driven again towards the unknown, with different people, and new things to learn. My sister would call that character building. But, I follow my heart...and for some reason my heart thinks my character still needs building (when does it stop?!). So, in my twenty-third year, I prepare to make the biggest change of my life. This one involves me leaving the comforts of my home to venture to my new residence in Durban, South Africa.

I am creating this blog primarily as a way to share my experiences with my loved ones. But even more than simply keeping in touch, I want to share the stories of the people I am bound to meet. In the short time we spend on this earth we are profoundly impacted by the people we love. Our whole idea about the world and its meaning is shaped around our relationships. The things we learn through those we love go on to form our thoughts and feelings about the happenings around us: they drive our decisions, and ultimately our life goals. Love makes us see who we are and forces us to come to terms with who we need to be.

The love I have experienced in my life (whether through family or friends) has helped me reach the decision to travel to South Africa. I know it’s backward that I would move thousands of miles away because the people I surround myself with love me. But I think maybe the way they love me makes me strong enough to be able to make a move like this.
In the course of the year of 2010 I will work hand in hand with a community of volunteers and a community of Africans. This year will hopefully bring me a better understanding of the ultimate direction of my life and, even more hopefully, I want to share the things I feel blessed to experience.